Recommended: Free Kilts & Tartan e-book

When I was a uni student I bought a Small Faces best of for a couple of quid. I listened to it a LOT. They are truely a gem of the sixties. I remember when I came home from university for the summer and my Mum overheard me playing the CD. It turns out she went to see them in her youth. They were hard on their instruments was her comment. How cool is that. It was such a cool musical link to my Mum for me. Musically my Dad had always appeared the greater affectionado to me. Nice to know I got some of my muso genes from my Mum too!

Things here are still counting down. Firstly to the kilt, next to my branch closing and lstly to me buggering off to Scotland. I still definitely feel it’s time to go. My little desktop count down timer says it’s 29 weeks and 4 days to go. I booked my flight home for Christmas and New Year a steal at 100,000 yen. I’ll be home for over three weeks. Superb.

Anyone figure out what the blog’s title means?

It allows us to be creative and to work harder but more comfortably.

It decreases isolation. Laughter allows us to bond with other people and ease our loneliness.

It’s contagious. Laughter creates laughter. Allowing laughter to swell into a movement across the land would reduce our growing anger and violence.

It’s universal. Everybody can laugh. Human beings are born with the gift of laughter. A sense of humor is not necessary to laugh.

It reduces aggression and conflict. People laughing are unable to hold each other at sword point. Some how there is no longer a point, only acceptable differences.

It relieves anxiety. One cannot laugh and be afraid simultaneously. It’s physically impossible.

Laughter also shrinks the source and size of our fears.

Above all else, it’s fun. It gives us back our playfulness, a characteristic of all mankind.

Laughter is a natural, physical process which releases pain, physically and emotionally. It is part of the body’s biological drug store.

Introduce more laughter in your life and revel in the opportunity to need fewer or no drugs at all to revel in the experience of your everyday life.

Dear Mrs. Ellis,

Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Ellis has been causing
quite a commotion in Target Department Store. We cannot tolerate this
type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from
shopping in any of our stores.

We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.

Three of our clerks are attending counselling from the trouble your
husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Ellis have been compiled
and are listed below.And Please do not say ” it wasnt him” as He’s the
only man we know of that comes here wearing a kilt

Mr. Ian MacDonald, Target Department Store Complaint Department

MEMO

Re: Mr. Ellis – Complaints – 15 Things Mr. Ellis has done while his spouse is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of pineapple juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, ‘Code 3′ in housewares… and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other

shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practised his “Madonna look” using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumes the fetal position and screams “NO! NO! It’s those voices
again!!!!”

(And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited
awhile; then, yelled, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here”!!!

16: Go to the pet department, stare at the gerbils for about 20 minutes
and then ask the clerk if they have any more in the back with more meat
on them.

He he. I have so many ideas for my final hurrah in Japan!!!

Days off are a joy. I get so burned out during the week I find it impossible to get anything done on Fridays. Last week I only had one day off at a time so the burn out feels worse. Nothing done today apart from going out for dinner with Yoshinori. All you can eat yaki-niku!!! Oh boy, one day I will start to watch what I eat. But while I cook food that I love to eat and shit like “Viking Yaki Niku” is around I am buggered.

Tomorrow I have to do laundry and clean the apartment up a bit.

I also have to avoid ebay at all costs!!!!! Spent over $100 on there in the last few weeks. Nothing stupid but it certainly has lots of “rare” stuff I want to buy!

Now I need to shower and get ready before I go off to eat a couple of cows…..

I have been in Japan for over three years now. I can’t really believe it’s been so long.

And it’s been fun. I’ve learnt so much. Done so many new things. Had so many amazing experiences. Japan will be a part of me for the rest of my life.

Yet something is amiss.

Since I had troubles with some friends in May my life here has been radically different. I lost two people I thought I could count on as family. Even after all this time their betrayal stings. It kind of makes me realise that I really do miss my family, they are irreplaceable. You can’t substitute them (not that I EVER thought or wished to replace them) but I thought I could numb the absence of them with others. I can’t. I miss spending time with my Mum. My Grandad who is 86 is one of the shining role models of my life and after losing my Granny this year I am desperate to spend more time with him.

I don’t know if I have, or if others did it to me but I have become isolated here. I think it suited me but it means that I have been very lonely. Add to that abject boredom, Onoda (while I love it) is a pretty quiet place. If you aren’t hanging out with your mates like you used to it can be insanely boring.

Add to all this my job. Nova has a major reputation and stigma attached to it. I’ve experienced some of the best of it and undoubtedly some of the worst. For three years I have worked here almost entirely without any sort of supervision. For two and a half years of that I have been the ‘senior instructor’ myself. I have had my issues at work. I have (I am quite willing to admit) made some stupid mistakes. But it all would have amounted to very little if I had had a line manager of worth. In almost ever situation (which normally involves a Japanese’s word against mine) I have been hung out to dry. Absolutely no support and no desire to pursue the truth, only a desire to make things quiet. Having such a long term instructor is quite a big advantage for them and (dare I say it) they don’t appreciate it.

Also, for three years I have been doing exactly the same job. EXACTLY. There is only so many times you can repeat yourself. I have had no career advancement and, due to what I talked about above, I think no chance of ever attaining it.

Perhaps I should elaborate somewhat. One of the things that has hurt me is my tendancy to speak the truth. This is not the Japanese way. And it has caused some friction. I can’t and won’t lie. If someone asks me about something or someone I’ll most probably speak my mind. This has REALLY hurt me in my time with Nova.

So there we have it. The current state of affairs and it has lead me to take a momentous decision or two.

I’m leaving Japan.

There, said it.

I always said that I wanted to stay until felt time was up. I feel that way now. I have done almost all I want to do here. I now want to be near my family. I am not happy here anymore. Things that I would laugh off before now REALLY anger me. People do things that I would previously have thought little of that now I find I am reluctant to forgive. The Japanese are prone to lying to save embarrassing themselves or the person they are dealing with. People are TOO friendly just because I am a foreigner. I have had real trouble mistaking that for genuine interest in me. I need a more ‘normal’ life.

I have no doubts that I am going to miss the ‘fame’ aspect to living here. I challenge anyone not to enjoy being popular. Many people whom I don’t know and have never met ‘know’ who I am. Many people are delighted (visibly) just to meet me and perhaps speak to me. Sound a bit like a freak show? I guess it probably is. I have never felt like I am particularly popular. I have always felt like I have a few really close friends and I value that so much more. Indeed that’s what I miss. I don’t really have that here now.

So I am leaving Japan, but when? Well, there kinda lies the problem. I have some things I want to do (bills to pay etc). Some things I want to buy. But the biggest thing is that Jim is getting married in April. That in fact is near perfect timing for me. So my plan (which you know is ALWAYS subject to change) is to leave Japan the week after that. Which should work out as the first week in May.

I have to add, I am not bitter about anything. I will leave Japan with a heavy heart and a hatfull of life changing memories. Life goes on and people come and go. The people who hurt me leave my life and I cease to care. Nova while far from the perfect employer has done exactly what I knew it would.

It’s just time to move on.

Time to begin living a real life again.

Time to settle down.

Time to enjoy the pleasure my family give me and stop taking them for granted.

Time to try new things.

It’s time to leave.

T -33 weeks!!!! Crikey that’s a long time!

Don’t get me wrong, it was a great day. I went with two Japanese friends and we had a ball.

I spent most of the time in the water. I ‘sunbathed’ for a total of 20 mins or something – I got bored just lying around. I used some suncream, I wore my tee shirt for most of the afternoon as I was going a little red.

I got sunburned to hell!!!!!

Like holy shit, SERIOUS sunburn. I had to take a day off work. I had heat stroke and almost collapsed. Utter, utter pain. My skin blistered from elbow to elbow, accross my chest and down my back. When I put my work shirt on two days after the beach, every seem on it felt like a knife. I did cry out in pain. It’s a freaking shirt!!!!!

I went to to the pharmacy to get some cream or something and the assistants freaked out. On day three or four my face peeled off, TOTALLY gross. The blistering lasted for a about a week. The skin on my shoulders became very painful from all the extra weight in my chest and upper back.

I couldn’t sleep properly because the sunburn cover 360 degrees of my body. Nightmare.

When the blisters finally burst I woke up to find my pillows SOAKED through with pus, totally minging! Yet it was the happiest I have been during it all.

When the skin on the worst areas peeled, a whole layer peeled off, around a millimetre or tweo thick. YUCK!

It’s all cleared up now, I still have some marks where it was and I’ll have to keep a close eye on my skin lest something nasty appear but I will be very wary of the beach in future.

Firstly;

I ordered my first kilt!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so stoked!!! I have to wait around three months for the tartan to be woven and the kilt to be made, it’s going to be a very long wait!!! )

Here’s the tartan I am getting:

It’s a MacTavish tartan. MacTavish (1439) to be exact!

MacTavish?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

• Red – the main colour of the tartan is red. My Grandad and I have a running joke about red as it’s the colour his favourite football team wears.
• Green – the colour of the mighty Hibees!!!!
• Blue – for Scotland
• White – for Scotland

I finally decided I liked the look of it the most. There were a LOT of options. When I finally got through all the tartans I then had to decide which version of the tartan I wanted traditional, modern, ancient, antique, muted or reproduction…………… holy crap. I finally went for modern as the green was darker and more ‘hibby’.

I’ve also ordered a fair amount of stuff from ebay that will start arriving soon! Including this kilt pin!

Check out my new kilt gallery.

However it did have it’s upsides …… like erm …… Doctor Who!!!!!!!!!!!!! So good, just so good!!! Damn! The music at the end was beautiful, the episode was exciting, fan boy pleasing at it’s best! Yee haw!!! )

Spent a huge amount of time getting wasted in Joyfull last night and read most of Ender’s Game, VERY good book!

More later….